to deprive of courage or confidence : dishearten discouraged by repeated failure>
(Definition courtesy of Merriam-Webster.com)

Warning - not a chipper post

This morning was not one of my bests. I woke up, felt great. Aaron and I were talking and laughing while getting ready. He says to me "let's call in sick today!" I, of course, got all excited and was ready to dial the # to my office when he chickened out. See, Aaron isn't one to ever call in sick. Ever! But he's had a really rough week and has been working like a mad man so I figured he was ready for a break. Wrong. So I got a little down, but moved on with my morning. I then go to weigh myself. Big mistake..apparently. I was up a good 2 lb's from earlier this week! This really pissed me off. I have worked my ass off all week long. I've done the Shred and the elliptical for 30 minutes every.single.night! I even did the elliptical for 45 minutes last night. I've been watching what I eat and counting every friggin' calorie (myplate calorie counter website - thanks Lindsey!) I don't drink during the week and I've been trying to cook healthier too. I mean, if I have grilled chicken one more night I might scream! I just don't get it. The number is not going down. It's going up. And I am so frustrated! I figured I would have at least lost a pound this week. On myplate you can choose how much you would like to lose a week and it calculates how many calories you should eat daily based on your weight, height, etc. I have been eating that exact amount (sometimes less) and working out. What is the deal! I can try and justify it by saying "oh it's muscle" but like Jillian said on the BL, the scales don't lie. That number that pops up is what you weigh, don't make excuses. I'm not a body builder here so I know it's not muscle. I have struggled with my weight for what seems like forever. I remember when Aaron went off to school I started working out and eating a lot better. He was no longer there to take me for a Mexican food dinner. I lost a lot of weight and felt so good about myself! I was breaking into the 120's...upper 120's, but still. Now, I feel like that number is so out of reach. I feel so discouraged. I know it takes time but I have been busting it for a while now. So I did what every rational person would do. I cried and cried some more. Aaron gave me a big hug and told me he thinks I'm hot and I don't need to lose any weight. That's nice and all, I mean it really is - love you hun :), but I'm sure he would think I was even more hot if I dropped my extra layer around my stomach. I know I will never be a petite thing. I have broad shoulders, a large chest and hips. I'm not going to be Megan Fox. I would just like to feel better about me. And you know what the sad thing is? I could look better and fit into smaller clothes, but if that number stayed the same I would still have a huge problem! Is that messed up or what? Why am I so driven by the number?? It must be something that has been beaten into my brain. Who knows!

Point is, I feel like I have been working really hard to lose some lb's and it's not coming off. If I would have at least maintained this week, I would be fine. But to gain. That's not OK. I'm going to keep it up with what I've been doing. Maybe in the next week or two I'll notice a difference.

Thank you all for listening. Sorry it's not a very exciting post! I am just down and I wanted to put it out there. Don't want you all to think that I never have any problems. How real would that be?? :)

Happy Friday ladies! I hope you all have an awesome weekend!! And if you have any weight loss tips, send them my way!

Joanna  – (May 15, 2009 at 10:40 AM)  

I think you look awesome! I know how hard it is though trust me, I get frustrated as well, I have been trying for weeks now and I'm stuck at one number. Why can't their just be a magic pill!!! Hope you have a great weekend, and you never know next week you could drop 5 lbs! :)

Dollface  – (May 15, 2009 at 10:49 AM)  

Awww... i feel the same way doll, but trust me you look amazing!! Just know that the weight will come off, it takes a while... and dont be sad.... p.s. try and check out my post and ask, ask, ask! xxoo

Tara Gibson  – (May 15, 2009 at 11:06 AM)  

dont get discouraged girl.. you look fabulous! I know its hard to think positive, but keep your pretty head up! : )

the future mrs Hinz  – (May 15, 2009 at 11:07 AM)  

oh ive had those weeks! dont let it get you down.

your hard work will pay off!

cheer up - its friday!!

Megan  – (May 15, 2009 at 11:15 AM)  

I know how frustrating it can be, but don't like it consume you. Get frustrated and then move on! Its a new week! And I TOTALLY feel you on the grilled chicken thing. I can't have another piece of chicken for at least another month! :-) You are beautiful!!!

Ashley  – (May 15, 2009 at 11:28 AM)  

i was weighing myself everyday and tracking it on paper.. then i worked my ass off for what? To feel discouraged everytime my weight fluctuated 1 or 2 lbs? I was getting so down. So I stopped! Now I try to skip a day or two and don’t write it down and I feel so much better! I knnooow we don’t want to make excuses for when the scale slips up but do remember – weight fluctuates, that’s just nature. Are you nearing your period? Your weight deeefinitely goes up then. And I will say this, last week I did shred everyday for 4 or 5 days in a row and I went up about 1.5 lbs… now? I am down 3 lbs from that weight and I’ve only been doing shred every other day. So I dunno, that could be part of it. I just told myself, you know what? I am going to look at my body and see the difference and be proud of that and not get hung up on what number is on the scale on the day to day, but worry about a pattern of decreasing. Don’t be done! (sorry so long!)

Ashley  – (May 15, 2009 at 11:29 AM)  

*down is what i meant on the last part..

Lucky in Love  – (May 15, 2009 at 11:32 AM)  

Believe me, I have been there. In fact...a lot of weeks...I am there.

Question...how often do you weigh yourself?? I used to be obsessed and weigh myself everyday. I would get really pissed if I went up on a day I did really well. Now, although I should really only be doing one day a week...I do twice a week. Your body fluctuates throughout the week (and throughout the day) for various reasons (drinking more water, retaining that water more because of higher sodium intake, being that time of the month, etc.) so it's really just mentally draining to weigh so much.

Also, I know you think you're aren't a muscle machine or anything...but if you have just recently started working out (or have upped your workouts) then some people tend to gain a little weight before they start to lose...and that IS muscle. I know what Jillian says...and I'm not disagreeing with her totally, but I don't think you can deny studies that have shown this to be true.

Also, I personally had a problem with not eating enough. A few months ago (I am a WW) at my meetings, I noticed I was not losing weight...but gaining. AND I had been working out like crazy and sticking to my points. Well, the lady said that I wasn't eating enough. I wouldn't use my "extra flex points" or my activity points because I was afraid of undoing what I had just burned off. I slowly started adding a few points in on days that I would do activity and it has really helped.

Also, I noticed you said something about eating grilled chicken a lot. Sometimes if you eat the same things all the time...your body gets used to it and learns to live on that amount and those foods...therefore you will not lose weight. Try to switch it up some with the recipes and maybe you will see a change. This will be more fun than eating chicken all the time anyway :)

Hope that helps! Sorry so long :)

a H.I.T.  – (May 15, 2009 at 11:50 AM)  

That is why scales should never be used. Judge your weight and body by how well your clothes fit, not by what number is on the scale. When I work out, I gain muscle really easily so my number never goes down, but my clothes certainly become looser. Just a thought.

Lauren  – (May 15, 2009 at 11:55 AM)  

I know what will help....

Margaritas and fajitas at Tiempo tonight!! Probably not, but at least we'll have a good time and we can celebrate that the week is over. Oh and we can cheers to being healthy!

By the way, I think you look fabulous!!

LyndsAU  – (May 15, 2009 at 12:17 PM)  

first off you are BEAUTIFUL!! But as a person who shares your struggle I know that doesn't make you feel better!! I went through the same thing! And all I can say is don't get discouraged. If your mind is right and you are doing the right things, the weight WILL come off :)

Legallyblondemel  – (May 15, 2009 at 12:53 PM)  

Blegh. I think we've all hit that plateau before with weight. It is so frustrating.

I hope you get a bit of a break from this weekend to relax & not worry about things.

Chic Runner  – (May 15, 2009 at 12:58 PM)  

I know you are bummed about it right now but tomorrow is a new day! :) I've dealt with those weeks too it sucks to be at a 'plateau' for now. Good luck with next week and girl you are gorgeous. :) I'm sorry that you have to deal with this

The Dunaway's  – (May 15, 2009 at 2:00 PM)  

We've seen on the biggest loser where people may gain one week but then the next week have an awesome number! keep your chin up! It'll get better! I think you look great!
and I left you a little something on my blog!!

katie + bret  – (May 17, 2009 at 10:14 AM)  

I went through this same thing - Hang in there! I read The Daily Fix by Alexa Fishback and it really gave me a new outlook on eating and really helped me out. It isn't a boring "do this, not this, nutrition mumbo jumbo" book. She talks to you like you are an old girlfriend. You might want to look into it. Keep up the hard work.. ANY weight, is a GREAT step towards where you want to be. - Katie

Mrs. Classic  – (May 18, 2009 at 1:25 AM)  

I know that you don't think you have gained weight because you aren't a body builder but the easiest time to build muscle is when you first begin. My husband says when you are first starting out notice how things are fitting and how you are feeling not the number on the scale. Increasing you muscle is a great thing, it means that you burn more calories just sitting. YOu may way more but muscle also looks better.
It will get better and you will drop.

Milltini  – (May 18, 2009 at 10:24 AM)  

Don't get discouraged. Sometimes you gain a little weight (i.e. muscle) at first...this is a good thing! Just base the progress that you are making on how your clothes fit and how your body feels overall! Chin up!

Sara  – (May 18, 2009 at 2:12 PM)  

Ugh! I am going through the same thing right now. I've been doing so good, eating filling, healthy foods and not drinking any alcohol. And, can I just say that's hard for me. I love my glass of wine at night. Hang in there. I hear it takes a while.

amy (metz) walker  – (May 26, 2009 at 7:37 AM)  

Ok, so there is no way that you gained two pounds of fat during the week...you know why? Because to gain two pounds you would have had to eat 7,000 extra calories during the week before, which we know you didn't do.

1 lb of fat = 3500 calories (a decrease of 500 over 7 days, between diet and exercise)

2 lbs of fat = 7000 calories (a decrease of 1000 calories per day)

I'm sure if it's not just plain water weight, it may be that you have been putting on muscle from doing something you haven't been doing in the past.

One reason that you might not be losing weight like you want is that you might not be taking in enough calories for your body. This ISN'T a plug for what my company does, just a simple fact...but you need to find out what your body need calorie-wise by taking an RMR test (Resting Metabolic Rate). It tells you the minimum # of calories you can consume and your body still function optimally. If you get below that amount on a daily basis, your metabolism actually slows down to make sure you don't "starve" it!

Good luck, sweet girl! If it helps, I think you're beautiful!

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